Depression

Wow, I thought that I was having a fairly good day although for some reason Netflix has decided it hates me today and that started the avalanche of ugh headed in my direction. So I started on a new crafting project in a new craft – embroidery: free form, and I am doing surprisingly well so far. I got tired of the absolute silence so that is when I decided I would pull something up on Netflix. I have a hard time remembering 15 or so years back when I kept a book right next to the computer because it took so long to load websites that I would read while it was loading and would be half done with the book if I had to be online very long.(fast reader) It is funny because now I am so intolerant of any wait at all, and forget watching anything online if it stops and has to load more than once during the program I’m done, I’ll do something else. I have heard that is the way all of society is now but I don’t believe that. I have always been patient but I have been getting less and less so the older I get. Which just makes me feel even worse; I then fell into the Stewing Pit, but I didn’t know it at least not yet. Now I know I am there. For the people who are asking, “What is the Stewing Pit?” The Stewing Pit is what I started calling the frame of mind I sometimes get in when I am trying to find a solution to one of my difficulties; (i.e.: finances, finishing my degree, finding a job, my health, turning 40 in a few years, etc.) this would not be a problem if I solved my problems and moved on, but I don’t. I try to, and the solution might work for a time then I am back at the starting line again searching for a solution. The search might take me weeks, or longer and the longer I am stewing the harder it is to get out of the pit. I am not to the “Mean Reds” from Breakfast at Tiffany’s though so that is one good thing. Another is that I just had an idea for a novel and I had to click away to type a quick blurb about the idea before I lost it! Now I need to go and flesh it out some while it fresh.